It's been a weird day. Started off terribly, I'd forgotton so much stuff that I needed to remember, and I'd also managed to get totally confused over the past few days so that I was basically doing crisis management this morning after managing to double book audition slots, booking others candidates in twice, and generally not having a great morning. I really doubted my ability for this job this morning. I'm sometimes way too much of a scatterbrain - not always, just sometimes, and usually just when I DON'T need it to happen.
Anthony however was able to put the Bible into practise and when I'd sent him a text saying that I felt like I was only just keeping my head above water he responded with a Bible verse: "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in times of trouble." That was so just what I needed to hear.... That I can do it, and to start swimming!
I remembered a little later on (once I felt like I was swimming again - I did have to keep reminding myself, "swim, Jen") that Ant's Xanga blog used to have a header on it saying "Every path has a puddle, every puddle is a chance to walk on water." I never really paid much attention to it but today has got me thinking. This path I'm on has LOADS of puddles. And therefore, so many chances to walk on water and show the awesome power of God in my life!
So, through today's swimming and not drowning, and perhaps even walking on water (have faith, Jen), will it be obvious that it's God being my refuge and strength? Or do I look like I'm just coping? How do other people see me? I do wonder.
oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo
I've also realised that as good as it is to post my feelings on the internet for all and sundry to read, sometimes it's just not appropriate to voice my real thoughts (!) so I have elected to keep a written journal as well... So far, and it's only been in use 3 days, it's been incredibly helpful to me, keeping sane, being able to write down the thoughts that would otherwise try to drown me.
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