I must be mad...

That's the second time that thought has invaded.

I want to be pregnant again, I want another little one...

The first time was at Jamie and Debs' wedding, just before Christmas. We'd left Ben with his grandparents while we took the photographs and, during the day, being somewhat distracted, I was absolutely fine. There was no chance to miss him! But at the reception, at the Wedding Breakfast, we were able to relax. And there were so many bumps, and so many babies, and I started missing my baby. And then, out of the blue, I starting thinking - I want another one!

This first time the thought was VERY quickly followed by another stream of thoughts yelling STOP THINKING THAT are you inSANE? STOP STOP STOP STOP SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP.....

And so the thought slunk away into a corner, biding its time.

Last night it reappeared. I don't know why - perhaps it was because my world was asleep, Stephen and Ben upstairs all tucked up, me on clean up and tidy up and express duties, looking at photographs of the beautiful and pregnant Hazel H, and my hormones decided to start getting all broody again.

Now let's face it, I didn't have the greatest of pregnancies, I didn't have the nicest of birth experiences, but Ben, when he smiles at me, when he smiles at that other baby in the mirror, when he gets all shy and buries his face in my shoulder, it makes it all worth it. And I'd do it all again without reservation.



Just not yet.