Most of the Story - part two

Thought I'd start off by saying I still think epidurals are the way forward :) They certainly have their place. I spent nearly 12 hours just on entonox and TENS, and not dilating particularly quickly. Once I'd got past 6cm the midwife was happy for me to go for an epidural because I just wasn't getting any further dilated, and was reaching the end of what I could endure with the contractions. The consultant came and checked and decided we needed to progress the labour and the only way for that was the oxytocin drip - which would cause contractions far stronger than I could cope with without an epidural.

I was the 1 in 100 case that suffered a double tap during the epidural. This is when the epidural needle punctures the spinal space as well as the epidural space and causes problems. The symptoms are incapacitating headaches - I understand what migraine sufferers go through now. These headaches started the friday morning when I tried to get up and couldn't. They would hit me instantly when I sat up or tried to stand up, and would go away fairly quickly when I lay down again. I managed to go and see Ben in Special Care (SCBU) once, but couldn't hold him because the headaches were crippling me.

Ben was out of SCBU after 24 hours, and on Friday morning the midwife came along just before breakfast and told me Ben was crying for me and that he needed feeding (they'd been feeding him through a tube). I almost cried because of the thought of trying to stand up to go and see him and feed him through the headache was awful. Then they came back trundling him in his little cot and said they thought it was unfair to expect me to get up and come through so they brought him to me :) and THEN they said that I could keep him as he was being discharged from SCBU!

I'd still go for it even knowing what I've been through since. Tell you what though - the best thing has been the caffeine therapy. It's been hilarious. I had 3 cans of coke in quick succession yesterday morning, and not much breakfast, and had caffeine overdose - major shaking, chatterbox, hyper - brilliant!! So once the headaches have finally gone, which we're expecting to take around 5-6 weeks (they do go gradually) I'll have to be treated for caffeine addiction ;)

Small price to pay eh!

We finally got home last night, and today my major achievement has been to get downstairs. It's amazing how much strength in your legs you lose through a week of being pretty much confined to bed.

Ben on the other hand is doing fabulously, he has no problems latching on for breastfeeding, he knows exactly what he wants and how to get it, I'm hardly having to do anything. He's alert and beautiful and only has screaming fits when we change him. Oh and he's a sneaky wee-er. None of this fountain effect that baby boys are supposed to have. Oh no. He waits until you turn your back and just lets it flow all over himself and his clothes and the changing mat and you don't realise until you pick him up and wonder why everything's wet.

Midwife came and checked us both this morning and she's happy with how everything is progressing - she checked through our postnatal notes and apart from being slightly concerned that someone had appeared to have written that I'd lost 7500ml blood during the blood (that's 14 pints, and would have seen me in intensive care.....) - until she realised that actually what they'd written was >500ml. Handwriting. Dangerous thing - especially in the medical profession.....

Anyway apart from all that I'm still smiling, we had a laugh today which nearly went critical - I got stuck on the bed desperate for a wee, and Steve was stuck under the cot trying to plug an extension lead in but his head and shoulders are bigger than the space under the cot and it was going up and down as he was breathing and so he couldn't come and help me and then we both started laughing... and laughing when you are stuck and need of a wee is REALLY not what you want to be doing!!!!

I'll try and update more again tomorrow, but I think that'll do for now. Time for chocolate pudding and changing bottoms and feeding and bedtime.....

Made it home!

We finally made it home last night, and I've just made it back down the stairs after spending ALL DAY feeding a hungry little monkey. Ok so I've not been feeding ALL day but it feels like that.

Ben is now a WHOLE WEEK old and if it weren't for me we'd have been home ages ago!

I'm still a bit sore down below but the midwife assures me that this will be the peak of the discomfort from the stitches and they'll have dissolved by this time next week.

There's loads and loads of pictures on facebook, here's the link to the album:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=58782&l=08305&id=614291355

The Peace of God that surpasses all understanding.

Today we begin trying to evict baby in earnest. If he doesn't come out willingly by himself this week, the bailiffs are being sent in next Tuesday :) - I'll be induced, what joy.

Been thinking a lot about this whole induction thing. Last Thursday evening's NCT class was mainly on induction, what they do, how it works, pros and cons etc. Painted a pretty grim picture really, not something I'd willingly go for. But on the way home I realised that actually, my baby's health is far more important to me than my comfort or discomfort, I'd rather have baby out and healthy.

Then, Saturday evening we went on the hospital tour and I was fine until they showed us the maternity theatre. Knowing that if I do end up being induced there's a fair possibility of me ending up having a c-section, I got a bit scared at that point. I hadn't realised that for 20 minutes I was going to be on my own while they prepped me and Steve got changed into his scrubs. I think out of the whole process, that was the bit that scared me the most - the thought of being separated from Steve.

But again, on the way home, I really felt the peace of God reminding me that I would never be on my own. I am just amazed at how peaceful I actually feel about all this. We have been praying with good friends that I'll have a natural birth and baby will come out this week, we have stood together and agreed and said Amen, and now - well, it's not that I don't have faith for that, or that I don't want it to be a natural labour, it's just it's not such a big deal any more. What happens happens. As long as baby is safe and healthy, that is the biggest priority. Everything else is kind of irrelevant now.

I guess if it does come down to going into theatre the best thing I can do is trust the people that are looking after me. If I trust them, I'm not going to panic. I have to trust them. And, as Steve said, if I don't feel able to trust them, then I can trust God because He is my Rock and Saviour, my Strong Tower, my Comforter.

I get to meet my baby soon.

A Grand Day Out

Today has been what I wanted last Saturday to be - a day out, a date day, a day for me and Steve to spend together enjoying each others' company.

We started by going to another NCT nearly-new sale in Worthing and picking up a bag full of funky baby clothes for next to nothing prices; had coffee and then lunch with Julian and Libby and Nathaniel; and then headed in to Worthing to buy a couple of bits for baby like sunscreens for the car windows and also to have a look in the camera shop for flashguns and tripods. Not intending to actually buy anything this time round, just to look.

Ended up buying me a camera like Steve's (except because the camera is a year old and two more models have been brought out since, it was half the price he paid for his last year), a camera bag, a tripod and some spare batteries. I feel like I've come of age, I finally have a grown-up camera of my own. Feels quite weird.

We then had our lovely hospital tour for when baby does decide to make his appearance, and decided on the way home afterwards that instead of getting a takeaway for dinner we'd actually eat out. I can't remember the last time we ate out, just the two of us. It was lovely. An indian meal in a decent restaurant, no rushing, no cooking, just nice food :)

What a grand day it has been.

Thank you God.

Eviction Notice served to Bump-E.

We went for our final antenatal/diabetic clinic and 36wk growth scan today. It appears that whilst I have been feeling like I've been struggling with eating, baby has not been struggling at all. They've put his current estimated weight at 3 kilos. Can't work that out exactly (brain tired) but it's about 6.5 - 7 lbs already. He is "growing well" according to the grinning sonographer. A "good size baby".

Hmm.

Following that, we served Bump-E with his eviction notice. If he doesn't make an appearance by himself by the 21st October we'll be sending in the bailiffs...... (aka I'll be induced.)

We're going to be parents in 11 days' time!!

Like a child in a sweet shop.

Thursday morning 9am. A text from Nick. "Jeni, can you come in at 10ish and take some pictures of the shop?" Such a beautiful day, and perfect timing - I wanted the afternoon off to meet Libby and Nathaniel, and was planning on going to the shop in the morning anyway to do some work.

I love my job. As well as doing the accounts and processing payments, I get to design various bits of marketing for the shop, take photographs for use in said marketing, and I'll be sorting out their website in the new year some time.

So Thursday morning I took Steve's camera in with me and I felt like a child in a sweet shop - I love taking photographs, and to be paid to do it, to have a purpose to the photos I was taking, was just brilliant! All the fruit and veg just looked so delicious in the morning sunshine, and I had a ball taking pictures and seeing if I could get the photos to do them justice.

After a bit of admin work it was time to go and pick up Libby and Nathaniel for an afternoon relaxing at the tea rooms in Steyning. I think we must have spent a good 2-3 hours in there, eating sandwiches and cake and drinking tea in the sunshine. Nathaniel occupied himself by trying to pick up the knots in the wooden table and then hitting the table repeatedly because it made a nice big noise.

After that it was back to the cottage, to see if we could find anything to feed Nathaniel with, as Julian was going to be quite late picking them up. We discovered that Somerfield baked beans evidently don't taste as good as Asda baked beans, and we also discovered that feeding Nathaniel cheese when he's not very well produces a lot of puke. Poor Libby had put a nice top on for coming out to play, and Nathaniel had already rubbed a big piece of gummed rusk onto her top. The puke finished it off. Good job we're about the same size although my brain was not up to speed and I went rushing off upstairs trying to find something for Nathaniel to be changed into rather than a clean top for Libby! Silly Jeni.