Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, there was a little girl who thought she would never be a mummy. The years went past and always the answer was the same: Not yet, not yet. Sometime, but not yet. Years passed, the little girl grew up into a young woman and got married, but still the answer was: Not yet, not yet. Sometime, but not yet. But then one day, another seven years later, the young woman discovered she was going to be a mummy!
Nearly every morning I look at myself and still can't quite believe that the season of "not yet" is finally over, and I'm only 4 months away from being a mum - it's almost like one day I'm going to wake up to discover I've been dreaming it all. I don't think any amount of scans and kicks or the ever-growing bump is going to stop that feeling, until I'm finally holding my baby in my arms. It just feels like it's been such a long period of "not yet" that my brain is really having difficulty adjusting to the fact that it's "now!"
I am struggling to think of anything other than baby. Steve must find it irritating at times but he's not said a word about it. I lie awake at night holding the bump, feeling baby prodding its way around... still amazed that it's actually really real. Sometimes when it's comfortable I can actually forget for a moment that I'm pregnant. It doesn't last: all I need do is look down. Or I get a swift kick or baby goes rolling around.
Baby baby baby.
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