Christina thinks.....

... I should train to be a teacher. She started laying seeds of new thoughts in my brain last night... All these great teaching institutions close by, all this intelligence crying out to be used. She told me of one job she used to do in admin where she spent more time making the spreadsheets look pretty and all the files being the right colour and neatly written because she was so bored. She pointed out that when it gets to that point, you REALLY NEED A DIFFERENT JOB. One that actually challenges you. I thought to myself, now, how familiar does that sound... I've become so disillusioned with the whole admin/secretary thing (for disillusioned, read hate with passion) that I can't see me ever going back to that despite having passed my NVQ L3 in Business Admin with flying colours.

So. What am I doing now? Working part-time in a greengrocers shop, and looking forward to being a baby-making factory. Logic says that this is a very odd step for a person to take. But, if you look at it, what's illogical about it at all? I needed a (clean) break from admin, I've done the whole staying at home being a homemaker thing and really enjoyed it to be fair, I just need a bit of company. I was reading Emily Wood's blog the other day and one post I read talked about what Christian women do once their children are all grown up - do they go and get a "proper" job again? What do they do? Well I for one would much prefer to do what I'm doing now, looking after Steve, being somebody that people come home to after their travels doing mission work overseas or whatever. To provide a home and hospitality.

But then, last night got me thinking. I actually really enjoy being challenged, once I get over the initial terror of writing an essay, I actually manage to write a really good one. Although I've not written many essays the ones I have written have invariably received very high marks. I do love writing. I love putting my thoughts on paper, I love being able to explain what I mean. I'm not great (at the moment) at explaining what I mean verbally as my brain takes a while to sift the rubbish from the good stuff that whirls around when I talk to people, and then it has to process it and send the resultant information to my mouth, which then falls over itself, so all in all it makes writing infinitely preferable because of the extra time my brain gets to read through what it has splurged. Don't you often wish you could do that with what you say, to retract the dross once you've proof-listened to what you've said!

Where am I going with this... Not entirely sure. Could I teach? What would I teach? Who would I teach? When would I get round to going back to school? I do wonder what plans God has for me in the future. I honestly thought last night that I'd realised what my calling was but then... well doesn't God continually surprise us and make us think bigger! I wonder whether this new door marked "hope" is one that I can wander through and look around in the rooms beyond.

Big deep breath...

I've been telling myself for some time that I need to get out more. I really do. I swear I'm going a little bit mad at home by myself all the time, I relish the chance to go to the shops. I've realised that I'm not normally this disorganised (in fact I'm pretty organised, and don't like chaos much) but the disorganisation that makes me have to go to the shops every other day (and going twice in one day because I forget something happens frequently) stems from the fact that I am craving company. I have made some amazing online friends due to the fact that most mornings I will take my cup of tea up to the computer and while away an hour or two, and one online friend in particular I am very grateful to for just being around at the moment, but I still crave company. So I go out to the shops just to have the opportunity to talk to people!

Anyway. I've been telling myself particularly that I should get a part-time job at least so that I have more structure in my life, and I've been procrastinating and putting it off for weeks. Months. BUT! Today I took a Big Deep Breath and when I went into the greengrocers I nearly didn't but then I opened my mouth and asked! It transpires that the lad who owns the place is regularly getting up at 3am (THREE IN THE MORNING!!!) to go to the markets and come down to Steyning and he doesn't live particularly locally, and he's still here at 6 in the evening most days too. I have utter admiration for him, I really do. Anyway I offered my availability and gave him my card (that impressed him with my organised-ness!! ha) and at Easter they're going to have a good look at staffing, and he said he will give me a call. So! Watch this space. I would so love to work there. I am pretty passionate about good food, and the principles they have there are great. All either local or local and organic, or fairtrade wherever possible. Ahhhhh....... here's to Easter!