Well... I've decided to revisit my old blog posts from the Finland year, to find the ones that speak to me now. The bits that I wrote that sound like they were written from a very different person, someone wiser, more relaxed, with more time on her hands to appreciate things, who noticed things and who had the space in her head to listen to God more often.
Here's some bits I found today....
Can't remember when this was from, either just before Finland or just after...
"Just remember, that when you think things aren't going "right" (i.e. how you planned them) just make sure you're not about to ditch something that God's been planning since before the beginning of... time! Don't forget your trees of destiny..."
From October 19th 2005
God spoke to me yesterday. he told me he loves me... when we woke up, the sun had not risen and it was already 7.30am. i opened the blinds in the kitchen and saw the moon shining in the sky over the lake. so beautiful. i took photos of it. one of them was supposed to go on here today, but no usb port, so no photo! it was so beautiful. monday night the sky turned blood red, it was incredible, after the sun set. more photos of that. then tuesday morning, such a clear day, and the moon.... wow. then monday evening the sky turned orange, and there was this little patch of lake which was perfectly still and was reflecting the beautiful orange. so wonderful. God loves us and you know, I reckon he plans all these things sometimes just so we get an opportunity to appreciate his beauty. he says to himself, jeni's going to open the blinds at this time in the morning, so the moon is going to be just there and the sky is going to be clear and the lake is going to be still and by Me, it's going to take her breath away.
anyway it makes me smile thinking that God the Artist is there, happily painting the skies every morning and every night, being aware that everything is just so, so that at this specific time Jude will see the stars in the night sky and think what an awesome God she has, or at this specific time James will hear the wind in the trees and suddenly be aware of the move of the Spirit. things like that. i'm sure God has it all planned. even before we were born, He knew the plans he has for us... and those plans included jeni seeing the moon over the lake yesterday morning and knowing that God loves her.